Finding a balance.

Vivian had been doing so well. We were only seeing a couple of seizures a month, a huge improvement over the ten+ a week she was experiencing a year ago. Vivian had been much sweeter and more compliant. Life was good. Too good to last, I guess.

For about the past month Vivian has become increasingly agitated and aggressive. She has put up major fights when it was time to get on the bus for summer school. Two weeks ago at a family birthday dinner, it took Robert and me about 30 minutes of wrestling with Vivian in 100+ degree heat to get her out of the car, into her stroller and through the doors of the restaurant. After we finally thought we had her calmed down and distracted with a Madeline video on her iPod and some pages to color, we wheeled her to her spot at the table only to have her reach out and kick my sweet mother-in-law in the head as we passed by her chair. I was MORTIFIED, as you might imagine. Last week when I took Vivian to the dentist for a cleaning, she put up such a fuss that I resorted to sitting on top of her and restraining her hands, while one tech held her head still and another cleaned her teeth. Luckily she was screaming, so getting her to open her mouth wasn't an issue. The final straw came when she hit a precious little boy while boarding the bus last Tuesday.

I called Vivian's neurologist and told him about her regression in behavior. I relayed that even though we weren't seeing a lot of seizures, Vivian's behavior was completely consistent with past increases in abnormal brain activity. He told me that he suspected that Vivian's growth and the onset of puberty had likely upset her always precarious medication levels. After reviewing Vivian's most recent blood work results, he advised me to increase one of her seizure medications by a half a pill each morning.

This seemed to me a pretty minor adjustment, but egad, what effects it has had. I gave Vivian the first increased dose on Friday morning. Sunday she would not wake up until 2 in the afternoon, after sleeping for 18 hours! Then at night, beginning Sunday evening, she has experienced a complete loss of balance. If Vivian wakes up during the night, she falls and walks into things while making her way to the light switch in her room. I've resorted to sleeping with her several nights in an attempt to insure that she doesn't get up and hurt herself (she seems completely unaware that she is at all impaired).

I spoke to her doctor again yesterday, and he said to give it a few more days to see if her body adjusts. If it doesn't, we will have to modify either the timing or the dosage of her medication.

Pray that we arrive quickly at a suitable resolution. My sanity hangs in the balance.