I feel like I have been suffering from some sort of post-traumatic stress disorder: I cannot hold a thought or complete a task; I have been unable to concentrate well enough to read (until I picked up The Hunger Games
for my Book Club and read it in a day last week!); I just generally don't feel like I'm accomplishing much.When I reflect on Vivian's stay in the ICU, much of it is a blur. Every now and then I will remember something thoughtful that someone did for us while Vivian was in the hospital, and I fear that I never thanked that person properly. (I apologize if that was you! Please know that we appreciated, indeed thrived on, each and every email, note, card, meal, gift and prayer.)
Now that we're on the other side of the whole ordeal and Vivian has miraculously returned to her old self (Praise Jesus!), sometimes I find myself thinking that perhaps I exaggerated how bad things were. I've only recently been able to revisit my posts from July, and then the worry and fear come flooding back as I read my accounts of those dark days and I remember, "Oh, yes, we thought our Vivian might be severely brain damaged and we wondered if we'd ever be able to bring her home again." {sigh}
I believe that I am emerging from my haze. I hope to be cooking, entertaining, having fun adventures and blogging about them soon!
In the meantime I thought I'd share this little photo journal that I made and sent to the wonderful staff who cared for Vivian in the PICU. When we visited there after Vivian's minor surgery last month, the nurses told me how much they'd enjoyed receiving it and that they'd taped the pages up in their break room.
I printed a copy for Vivian that she likes to look at, though she gets very disturbed by the tubes and wires (especially the feeding tube in her nose, which you may recall was not real popular with her in the hospital either). She'll tell me, "The nurse needs to take that yucky string out of my nose!" Given where Vivian was this summer, what a delight and privilege it is to hear her say that!
With thanks to our Heavenly Father and the wonderful doctors and nurses in the Pediatric ICU at Medical City Children's Hospital, I present:
Vivian's Story
June 25, 2010. When I arrived at Medical City Children's Hospital, I was a very sick little girl. I had a fever of 107° and was having a lot of trouble breathing.
The nice doctors and nurses in the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit hooked me up to all sorts of machines to help me get better.
For 12 days I slept while a machine helped me breathe.
When the doctors were sure I could breathe by myself, they let me start to wake up. But I was very sleepy and grumpy.
Not long after I woke up, my arm needed more surgery and I got a nice new pink cast.
I wasn't very happy about the tubes and wires that were helping me get better. The nurses ordered a new bed for me to keep me from hurting myself when I kicked and fussed. I also got to wear a funny hat and lots of ribbons on my head while the doctors did a test on my brain.
I was awake for more than a week before I said much. My first sentence was, "I don't like this place." The doctors and nurses did not take offense and instead thought that was a good sign.
Gradually I got out of bed more and took rides around the PICU in my stroller. I was too weak and wobbly to walk.
It took a while for me to get used to not being on a lot of medicine, but I became more alert each day.
I even started to laugh again!
I smiled more often.
I enjoyed spending time in my stroller with my baby Sarah, a book and a banana milkshake. I wouldn't eat real food, though, so I had to be fed through a new button on my tummy.
Finally, after 32 days in the PICU, I was well enough to go home! My mama and daddy were so grateful to all the nurses and doctors who cared for me. It was hard to say goodbye!
But it was so nice to be home!
At first I was happy just to be in my own bed with my beloved cat, Percy.
It didn't take long for me to start enjoying some of my favorite activities like coloring again.
My teacher, Mrs. Kemp, came over to work a puzzle with me. She was so impressed with how well I did!
My dog, Tucker, was glad to see me!
In no time at all I could walk by myself, though my big brother, Will, assisted me with carrying Percy.
>Some nice nurses helped my mommy and daddyman take care of me at home, but after two weeks I was doing so well that I didn't need them. I didn't have to wear a cast or take IV antibiotics anymore either!
Now I eat regular food, so my family enjoys going to our favorite Mexican restaurant on Friday nights again.
I like eating my old special foods like ice cream too.
August 18, 2010. I am my happy, funny, (mostly) sweet self again!
"I prayed for this child and the Lord granted me what I asked of Him."
I Samuel 1:27
Some of Vivian's nurses
